I'm in tears right now, and I don't know what to do. Sometimes I feel like my dad just doesn't care about me at all.

So, for about two years now, I've been having problems with staying awake. No matter how much sleep I get, I always feel really tired and I always fall asleep. It happens while I'm driving, it happened when I played sports in Gym class, it happens when I'm trying to be stimulated. It usually happens when I'm not doing too much, though.

I don't know what it is. I mean, it could honestly be nothing. It really could be. Maybe I am just not entering REM or something. I don't know.

But anytime I try to bring up a problem I'm having, my dad always goes "well, anytime we take you to the doctor, they can never find anything wrong with you."

So now he never wants to take me to get checked out.

Well, I'm really scared right now. Because this happens all the time I'm driving and I can't begin to tell you how many times I've nearly gotten into car accidents. It's dangerous and I don't know what's wrong with me. Maybe there isn't anything wrong. But there are things the doctors can do to help with drowsiness.

My doctor at one point said it sounded like it could be seizures.

But I finally brought it up to my mom again, and told her I tried to tell her before, but she brushed it off as nothing. And I finally told her everything again, and she was finally accepting it.

Well, I was just down stairs a few moments ago, and my mom was talking to me about it, and my dad, being the asshole that he is, started to talk to me.

He basically said "Well, here is my problem, anytime we take you and get all these tests done, nothing is wrong." and mind you, he wasn't being nice AT ALL. He was acting like I was making this up and he wasn't talking nicely at all.

So me being unable to handle him and his behavior, I wasn't entirely mature and I said "Apparently you don't care about me"

And he started yelling at me like "Yeah, so this is how a f***** nineteen year old acts. Acting like a f****** five year old. Act like a f***** adult and get back in here and talk to me." Because I was going to walk away. He's impossible to talk to when he gets like this.

So I told him to leave me alone until I could calm down again, but really, he's the one that needs to calm down. But I'm crying right now and I don't know what to do.

I hope that I get into a car accident and get hurt and then he'll finally realize the point I've been trying to get across every time I need to see a doctor or think I should see one.

I hope I go to the doctor and something is seriously wrong (and treatable) so he can finally see that I'm not making any of this up.

It is better to eliminate possibilities than to let something go on only to find out it kills you in the end, because you never did anything about it.

And honestly, I have only gone to the doctor ONCE and had it turn out nothing was wrong. I had stomach issues, and it turned out to be nothing. But otherwise, I just went for my arm injury and they were able to tell me a way to fix it that we didn't know about.

I feel like he really doesn't care about me. I know money's tight but what's more important? Your daughter or your income?

I am just so lost right now, I don't know what to do. This is why I never tell them if something is wrong until it's really bad. Because I know he gets like this and it's impossible to try and tell him otherwise. My mom is onboard about going to a doctor, but he's just unreasonable.

I guess I'm going to have to put my money towards a doctor's appointment. I shouldn't have to pay for it myself, but if my dad isnt' going to help me, I have to do it some how... It might mean waiting awhile, but... I guess I have to. Or I'll just take out of my savings. It's meant for school, but I can't go to school if I die in a car accident.