I wish there was a way I could record myself saying something before I ever said it, so I could hear what I sound like to other people and change my speech pattern as to not raise concern.

Got to work and had to meet with the training man to schedule a training session. He asked what shift I worked and when I was available, and as I started to explain myself he cut me off saying "Cool your jets"

Then a neighbor farmer called to return a call my roommate had made from here at work. He asked how I was. I said I was pretty good. He responded with, "Well you don't sound like you're doing too good." But I was feeling very good.

Everyone always tells me, "Hey smile. It will be ok."

A p-doc once told me that I my "affect" (the way you wear your face perty much) is negative and that gives people the impression I am upset.

So people are concerned about me because I have a pissed off look on my face all the time? lol I find this a bit humorous.

I had a fantastic day today. The gf spent the night and we had a great little Valentine's Day. Then I used my Tax Refund Check from the Federal government to help buy an "Assualt Rifle" that the same Federal government is currently trying to ban. So I was in a great mood.

We went and shot said rifle, as well as test firing the new reloads I made for my deer rifle. Which put me in an even greater mood.

At the same time I was thinking of what I might post on facebook on March 1st, the 4 year anniversary of my bp dx. Even thinking about it now gets me emotional to the point of tears.

Who knows. I feel like I'm doing very well considering my circumstances. Just wish I was video recorded so I could play it back and watch how "crazy" I am.