About a year ago I was hospitalized for cancer surgury.
I had muscle and some bone removed from left upper arm.
When I was there the nurses and staff really did a good job.
I felt they really cared about me.

I know that's their job.....but I felt kinda like a little kid must
feel after a nightmare or fall....that Mommy is going to make
it all better.

I was thinking about this today.
I feel that I 'm non -existent most of the time.
That no body really gives a hoot if I am here or not.

My best friend passed a few years ago.
She was the last of the bunch of us.
Now there just is nobody.....just me.
No calls to chat or see how I feel.
No cute cards sent back & forth.

If it weren't for the highway down below me in the valley...
I 'd think the world was gone.

I know I 'm just feeling 'sorry for myself '. But I miss that
relationship. Knowing there 's someone to hold onto.

Being homebound I don 't get among people.
I have a caregiver 3x a week.
Someone from my church used to come to see me once a week.....
but not now. Don 't know why.
I had an email penpal for a few years but she 's gone now too.

I joined this group hoping I'd have people to talk to with
problems/troubles like me.....depression and such.
I am sure you all are wonderful people.
But so far I still feel invisible.
My fault most likely.

Hmmmmm......maybe I need more cancer surgury.