I am struggling terribly at the moment. My head and the internal thoughts and fears I struggle with are suffocating me. My family dynamics are a complete mess and I am isolated from the very few people I have in my life. My spouse says nothing when I break down and say I feel I cant go on. I ask, on a human level (forget love and marriage) how he can not even offer a sympathetic touch on the arm, or an "its okay" and he responds with "you knew I was this way when you married me so why are you expecting me to comfort you now."

I am so low and miserable. I don't see my T until next week and things are so new between us I don't want to or even know how to go in and say how hopeless and messy everything is. I haven't eaten all day and this is dangerous ground with my eating disorder, one day leads to another and another...

I feel that my problems are too much, that going to therapy is just like rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic. I really like the new T and already, in just a couple of sessions there have been some thoughtful comments made on his part, but for the life of me I cant remember a damn thing that was said that gave me hope.

just sad, stuck, and very unhappy..