I can't seem to have any normal sexual fantasies.
Every fantasy I have seems to involve me seducing my partner then handcuffing them and causing them lots of pain. Anytime I fantasize about regular sex I feel angry, violated and want to hurt someone just to make myself feel normal again. I can't enjoy kissing, hugging, touching unless I am in complete control and the person enjoys what I'm doing. Usually I can tell they think what I do is weird so I just stop and hold myself back from hurting them. I don't know why I need to integrate violence into my sexual fantasies and to be frank it's become a tad bothersome for me.