I would imagine to get disability from depression it has to be pretty bad. Some people get so depressed that they stay in bed, don't eat for days and are past the point where they would harm themselves. Its sounds like he may be depressed but is functional. If he can play x-box and use a computer one would think he could maintain at least a menial job. With meds it may improve his mood and his depression could be manageable. Maybe he is just trying to fake it out of laziness.

I would say you have to take care of yourself. It sucks that he is depressed but you can't let his actions drag out of house and home. Only his doctor knows how bad it is, do you have permission to speak to him? When I get depressed I also have suicidal idealization. I've talked to my wife about this, and am open about it. I know that these thoughts are healthy and it is my minds way of finding escape from the way I am feeling. I would give my wife permission to talk to my doctors, would talking to his do anything for you? I also give her access to all my medical information because it is in my best interest to do so.

Does he sleep a lot or very little? When I get really depressed I sleep ~18 hours or so a day. Some people suffer insomnia and don't sleep very much.

I would say take control of your finances. If he isn't working then he can't expect you to support him in his reckless spending habits. My wife doesn't work. We've had discussions about it. She got a degree in something that there isn't a lot of jobs for. The last job she had was at a day-care a few years ago. It was a suck job, but the money helped. I think she just likes staying home and playing video games all day. She does clean and cook dinner so it's not like I am doing everything. She is also supportive of me and I am happier with her than I would be without. She doesn't want anything to do with the finances so I take care of everything. She understands the bills come first. She also understands that we don't have money to spend recklessly.

To me it sounds like he needs to get his stuff together or lose you. A person can only put up with so much. You can be supportive of someone, but there is a limit. You can't neglect yourself to take care of him.