I used to post on here. Anyway I'm really struggling. 3 days ago I found out that my pdoc is a fraud and did some crazy stuff and HOPEFULLY loses his license. Well I swear I have the worst luck. I have a hard time trusting and especially ppl in positions of authority.

I am all over the place with my moods. I'm afraid that I will end up on antipsychotics again. Right now I take 200 mgs, zoloft, 50mgs doxepin (for sleep), just started lamictal and 2mgs lorazepam at night as well.

I'm afraid that my general practitioner will not want to prescribe the lorazepam. Then I will have to go to the state clinic and they just med you up....I'm not willing to lose my personality and feel like a numbed out zombie.

I fee so scared and my family is just sooooo cold. My mother was my rock but unfortunately she passed away 6 yrs ago. I'm really struggling with racing thoughts, flashbacks etc ptsd symptoms. Also I think I may be in a mixed state crying one minute angry the next.

Any insight would be appreciated.
Thanks