It sounds like your husband is confused about what he wants. A lot of the things that he does could be a sign of a mid-life crisis or depression, but he is also treating you in an abusive way. For example, he tries to make you feel bad for not contributing financially, but won't let you take the class that you need in order to start contributing, and neither will he do his part by giving up a luxury or two. He devalues the things that you do, and doesn't let you spend time with freinds and people who would support you, and also questions your motives, implying that you might have a boyfriend. The division of "your kids" and "my kids" doesn't contribute to family unity and harmony either.

You sound like you have your head on straight and know what you would like to do, and also want to support your husband and keep the family together. I think that getting some professional help makes a lot of sense. Hopefully your husband will be able to realize what he wants and how valuable you are, and will learn to support you and allow you to support him. I sincerely hope that he will. If he doesn't, you can get counseling yourself, and get some help with ways to deal with the family dynamics and to get your needs met. I think you are on the right track. Please let us know how you are doing. It sounds like you have a very interesting life!

<font color=orange>"If we are going to insist that people pull themselves up by their own bootstraps, we must ensure that they have boots."</font color=orange>