Quote:
Originally Posted by LolaCabanna
Have you told him that.... you can catch more flies with honey? And no matter if you knew he wasn't into comforting or not when you married him, he said the whole for better or worse thing. He can bite the bullet and go through the motions if it will help you, after all you are the one who actually GAVE birth.... ugg , non supportive spouses really get my goat. ok..... I'm breathing.....  I think both messes are equally important and ultimately tied together. |
Yes, and you would cringe if you knew how completely devoid of support my H is. He is too caught up in his own hurt and anger with me to step aside and take a compassionate approach. He is, extremely and pathologically passive aggressive (if I ask for help and support so that I can improve our situation, the blame is put to me for not telling him exactly what to say or do). He has seen me starve myself down to a skeletal state and the best he could say "what do you want me to do?" I told him plainly and truthfully that I have been purging daily for over 20 years and he responded with " you should stop that before you do damage." then changed the subject. A week later I asked why he left it at that, he said because he knows there is nothing he can say that will help or change things.
My problems began long before him, but it is very hard to struggle without basic compassion from the person I live with. I feel more supported in this thread than I have in my decade long marriage. I know I am completely emotionally on my own, I always have been and probably always will be. Its just the dark hours are made darker knowing I am so poor in the self-care department, yet that is all I have...and thus, I turn to my disorder for comfort.