I don't have an ED unless you count the fact that food and I have had a torrid love/hate relationship for years..I love it and it hate me being skinny. But I have read it has to do with control. I get that as I have my own demons when it comes to having control and I suck at self care too. However, I have learned as of late that we do no one any good (including ourselves) if we aren't alive and physically able to participate in life. Have you thought about marriage counseling? Perhaps a detailed list of things your H could do to comfort you.... he can't argue with a manuscript.