I'd like to say that I have read what you all had to say, and I feel many of the same things.

Some of the hardest things about depression in my life are:

-Recently, pretending that I care enough to want to fix myself when I really don't care about anything and want to die.

-I totally feel for the "put on a happy face" thing. But I have stopped trying to put on one, its been a while now. Only sometimes people will trick me into smiling or laughing and then my therapist wonders how I can not be happy when I occasionally smile. And that pisses me off to no end.

-Being SO lonely, I can't explain it. I feel absolutely no connection or bond between anyone on this planet. I feel closer to my freaking cat.

-I feel the same as NoCake, being unable to speak. Sometimes it seems I just don't have the energy to do so, other times I feel just totally dead.

-Being so physically weak that I can barely move, I haven't the energy to do much of anything.

-Feelings of inevitable doom to all things in existence and there is nothing I can do about any damn thing and that there is no justice to right the real wrong that is the First Cause.

-The rage that builds up in my being when hearing other people that don't understand mentally ill people talk about them (or people that just don't understand much about humans at all) and also not being able to tell them I am someone who is mentally ill and I'm sitting RIGHT NEXT TO YOU.