I'm about you're age. I feel all that too...just lost my relationsip forever..so especially the last part of what you said. I have a 20 year old that's been gone for years, but I have a 12 year oldwho desperately needs me. Thats my reason to keep going but with my mental health the way it is I fear what is to become of me. I miss having someone to wonder or care where I am.