"I'm searchin' through emptiness
and tryin' to forget us in vain"

"Locked in a prison
in a world of living fear
on the edge of my destruction
marching on"

"Sadness inside
from the truth that she hides
and this pain in my heart
for no reason"

All of these quotes are from the song "Seasons" by Dragonforce. It seems to match your mindset right now, at least to me. But you know how the corus goes?

"The words are dying in the night
No winter lasts forever
The seasons pass
and sunlight will shine on my life again
So let the past
now burn down in flames"

The idea is that everything will pass. I dunno, though. Maybe I rely too much on music to make things seem better.