*trigger SI*

Dear T,
You're going to think I f'd up. I didn't, I planned it all day. It was calculated researched, designed and thanks to my skills w. a razor came out pretty well. A bit bigger then I thought. I was not overemotional or anything just calm and collective. You were suppose to call me back today and no talking to you would not have stopped it. I wanted to brand myself. Are you going to ask me about it when you call? Can we just call it scarification? It wasn't because of high anxiety and it made my anxiety worse so it doesn't count right? but it is art. Sorry but I'm not going to say anything if you don't ask. Yes I am safe and so is everyone around me.

sincerely,
MM

T,
You called and talked to my husband. I know you did that so you wouldn't scare me. I'm so glad you were on speaker or that would have freaked me out. I'm already scared and it 10 days away. Then you want me to call you if I need a sooner appointment WTF does that mean. I've just started calling you to re-schedule when you cancel. I know it always works out but please let me go home next time I see you.
sincerely,
MM
ps: thanks for not mentioning the note to my husband.