Secretary to Psychologist: "Doctor, there is a patient here who thinks he is invisible."
Psychologist: "Tell him I can't see him right now."

A man is walking along the street when he is brutally beaten and robbed. He lies unconscious, bleeding.
While he is lying there, a police officer passes by, but crosses to the other side of the road, without trying to help.
A boy scout troop does the same. As do a number of pedestrians.
Finally, a psychologist walks by, and runs up to the man. He bends down and says, "My God! Whoever did this needs help."

And today I went to lunch with a friend, and she commented that her favorite cat had disappeared and the evil cat will not leave the house. She commented that the evil cat would probably live forever. I said, "yeah, like my mother." We both cracked up and others in the restaurant looked at us like we were crazy.