I feel indifferent.

My "normal" emotions are blunted, even my anxiety. I don't exactly feel bored, as there are things to do, even things that I normally find fun. I think I still do, but I just don't care so much. I have flashes of emotions but they feel far away, like when your mouth is being drilled on at the dentist, both there and not there.

I almost feel like a ghost, like a dead person looking back over the life with a certain level of detachment, maybe a chapter of my life has closed and I'm still writing the next? I don't think this is abnormal, at least not according to my belief system, my teachers said this would be the next step in my personal development, but basically I don't think I'm depressed, if anything I'm more functional than when I felt happy.

After years of being a hermit, sometimes not leaving the house for months on end, I am adjusting well (so far) to going to classes four days a week. I go, I sit quietly and take notes, I study as much as necessary. I don't care (though I have nothing better to do), it's almost like I'm watching a movie.

I have not read it yet, but that book Stranger in a Strange Land? The title works for me. I feel strange, like an outsider in my own life, like I an anon looking in on some place.

I find it all rather interesting, I guess, but I'm not as deeply involved. I don't think it's permanent (again according to my teachers), but I don't think it's going to change for some months. The only way out is through.