I agree Michael D. Me and my wife do this on occasion. She enjoys to submit. For me I like the feeling that she trust me enough for that. The sense of control is also arousing, but only from it being consensual. It like to fully give yourself to someone and to fully accept someone. For her to be tied up or overpowered and wanting me to do that. The struggle is also arousing, but it's like theatrics. It's hard to explain, but once you know your partner you get a sense of what they want by their reactions. Even when there is a staged struggle you still get indications of what the person that submits wants. You are in control, but there person that submits is leading in a way. They are the focus and are the ones who are getting attention so to speak. For us sometimes it is the excitement of me pinning her down, and other it is the vulnerability of being tied up or contained.

Rope play is also interesting. In a way it is like an art. To tie someone up safely not to cause any circulation problems, nerve damage, or unintended discomfort. To constrain the motions of your partner, and then to tease is enjoyable for us. When we do bondage it is usually slow, and sensual like. A lot of touching and teasing.

The last part is the sadism and masochism part. Some people enjoy a little bit of pain. I don't really enjoy inflicting it that much, but I get a sense of pleasure from her pleasure. There is also a thrill to pushing your partners limits. This isn't really anger involved. We both talked and I know what she wants to happen as far as pain, spanking, slapping, chocking etc. I think the important part of this, is she wants this to happen. It wouldn't be very good, if were having this kind of sex and I just punched her in the face. She wouldn't enjoy that. The pain is intended to cause pleasure and excitement, and not meant out of anger. She likes to be spanked, sometimes really hard. Not to the point of bleeding, but to the point it is painful to sit down the next day. Some people just plain don't like pain and can't understand the pleasure in it. I don't think there is anything wrong with that, it some people don't get it and this stuff is not for them.

This is just something to keep things exciting. Sex gets boring if you don't explore in my opinion. After having sex 500+ times with someone you have to find new areas to explore so it doesn't feel mechanical. At least that is my experience. People are different and to each their own. I enjoy going deeper into sexuality and other people enjoy to have different partners/experiences. To each their own.