I agree with Jllarissa.

Your friends are right to not like him...if we're being honest, I haven't met either of you, and I don't like him! I do understand BDSM play (well, to an extent), and I understand that might, on occasion, come with the territory, depending on your level of involvement/what was done/whathaveyou (though it still seems...off. Intuition tells me that what you're describing is outside what could be considered part of play, but that's my gut). But he loses my faintest glimmer of understanding with you mentioning sobbing and "nonconsenual" times.

Cmh, listen to me. A guy who loves you doesn't leave you sobbing, and a basic human being doesn't impose "nonconsenual times" on someone else. Sex is, in its only healthy form, consenual, always. For him to EVER do that to you is very simply rape. I do hope I am thoroughly misunderstanding you there...but based on what you said, that is what I gathered.

Please, do correct me if I have misinterpreted anything, as I don't want to offer advice derived from a poor understanding. But as it is now, I highly advise you don't stay in the relationship. You deserve to be loved and cherished. Based on what you have said, that is not something he has given you. I am glad he has improved, really, I am...but I don't think the foundation of your relationship is conducive to your long term happiness.

Please know if I can do anything for you, I am only a PM away. Please take care, and know you're in my prayers.

Hugs,
Harley