If I get denied for SSI and appealing it doesn't work, its probably back to the psych ward with me. Not even sure I can avoid that long enough to find out their decision honestly. It's either that or suicide since though my family does not say it I know they are getting more strained financially and so its harder for any of them to really help me out much.....so I gotta figure something out and aside from SSI I don't know what.

I will probably go to the psych ward instead of suicide, but then I am worried about what could potentially become of my mind if I spend longer than 5 days in one of those places. Not so sure it would even be worth continuing after that....what will i have to look forward to, sedatives and insanity? uhh just don't know what to do.....and can't stop worrying about getting denied when it hasn't happened and I just might get approved and then I might be able to make some positive changes in life such as being able to buy healthy food and natural remedies and even maybe build up some hobbies or passions I could be left alone to live my life as best as I can...rather than having my mind tampered with because people are supposed to be 'happy' and conventionally successful.

Is anyone else struggling with this sort of situation or concern?