I am seeing a therapist now, I did try to work things out on my own for about 5 years. I thought I had work through it , however in my case I was wrong. I must admit, my method was to ignore it and it worked for a while, but things are so not good right now that I had to get a therapist. everybody's different, maybe somebody has a better experience than I did about self help. I did read a couple books however since I like to read so that kind of helped a little. sorry I rambled, I tend to do that. I hope this made sense.