((((((((((( hugs for you, amy )))))))))))))))

You are NOT going insane, but wanted to suggest that maybe talking to a counselar/therapist may be of help.
Also, have you had a physical lately? Hormone imbalances, and slow thyroid function (hypothyroidism) can contribute to you feeling like this, if have not seen your gp for a check up it may be time, so often "physical" things can mess up our minds. I wish you lots of luck, I can relate to your post, sort have been there myself, but was more complicated to really discuss here, but I am happy I went for professional counseling/pdoc help, over a 4-5 year period things have worked out fine for us, we just had our 26th anniversary, and have known each other for 31 years.
sometimes a counselor can help suggest some "opening communication " techniques. There are some organizations, counselors, local mental health department(s) in many towns and counties and/or within your local hospital(s) behavioural health departments that may offer free counseling or payments due on a "slidng scale", so try to persue therapy it can help you through this. Wanting to end your life as you stated is not the answer, besides think of your kids, you do not want to leave them, they love you I am sure.
Please take care now,

DE

In giving advice seek to help, not please your friend
SOLON