special k.... a phobia of my own body as in the emetophobia (fear of vomiting) i'm scared of something my body might do, something in me....not something outside of me that i could avoid (people, crowds, elevators, planes, spiders, etc...) i'm scared of something that could be within me.
makes it really hard to "desensitize" myself to stuff the way that is recommended for most phobias.
like, i'm going to decide to feel *just a little* bit nauseated today, then the next day do it a little bit more..... nope, can't do that. if my body feels nauseated it feels nauseated, then i go into full blown panic.
also, i've read on other forums dedicated to this very phobia, that making yourself sick is a VERY bad idea and all those brave enough to try end up worse in the end.
so the "flooding" method of exposure is out too.

i really wish i could find a therapist like you guys have mentioned above that would be willing (or KNOW HOW) to do some other kind of therapy other than CBT)
but i live in a small city and people don't seem to know stuff like that.
i am getting acupuncture, which is helping my body out so much, but it doesn't change the way i think about it.