That's creepy, if I got that I would have likely deleted it, I don't trust any of those random emails I veiw it as junk mail that I throw away like those credit card applications the same credit card company keeps mailing me. Sometimes people wonder why I or anyone would distrust the system that's there to 'help', I think some mental health professionals I've talked to where a bit shocked at my refusal to do anything they've suggested unless they explain it in a way I can understand and its something I am willing to do.

last time I talked to a psychiatrist she said I should try effexor and I refused it because I actually took the time to research it myself and found I was not at all comfortable with the potential side effects and withdrawl symptoms if I couldn't afford a refill. Then finally so i could get out of there because it wasn't going anywhere useful I mentioned I already take trazodone which has anti-depressant properties but is more sedating than stimulating for the anxiety and not being able to sleep issues I have so didn't see why I'd need another anti-depressant as well. She raised the dose but its optional this past week I have not found I need any more of it than usual but if I want I can take twice the dose. But yeah I feel like in those situations I have to be agressive about what I am ok with and what I am not ok with because no one else is there to do it for me.

when I was in one the social worker was the only one I really trusted I started getting freaked out about if I'd be able to leave when I wanted even though I was voluntary and she re-assured me I was voluntary and they didn't have the right to keep me there if I was ready to leave. I fully experianced the theory that a psych ward its self can drive you insane if you're there too long. If I remained worried about not being able to leave than I would have probably ended up involuntarily for having one of my horrid anxiety/disassociation attack things. I suppose I am better able to be assertive about what treatments I don't want when I know I am free to walk out and go home and get on with my life.