I don't know you or your history, but your post made me feel sad. Probably because it mirrors my own beliefs that no one can ever be there for me. Because of this I could have interpreted it wrong, but I wondered if you have perhaps given up. It doesn't sound to me like you feel there will ever be anyone to really support you on your path. That things are going back to what they always were. I just wanted to say I am sorry you are feeling this way. I too hope your book sells, it sounds an amazing accomplishment, but I also hope that one day you won't feel like you have to do it all on your own