Even as a child I understood this, that people changed their view of you when they learned of such things. This was the main thing that kept me from telling anyone about the CSA I had experienced. I still to this day don't feel that what I went through was as huge of a deal as it apparently seems to be to the few people who know. T in particular harps on it a bit more than necessary in my opinion. When I first told him about it and he had some reactions of concern and sympathy, I did feel confused that he was reacting like that. I felt like, "Whats the big deal here? Chill."

I really blame a lot of my fear of intimacy on my mother and her extreme promiscuity with men when I was growing up, which she made no effort to shield me from in any way.

I think if I did meet a man I felt love for and that the relationship had potential, I would have to tell him something about my past though. Just for the fact that I would need him to have some amount of patience with me and he would need to know why.