I know exactly how you feel. It is difficult to stay focused when you never know what emotion you are going to be feeling, and when you are constantly sick to your stomach. It is also difficult when you do not have a shoulder to cry on, and when you feel like nobody understands you. I also know how difficult it is to be away from your boyfriend, and it is going to always be hard to be away from him. I can tell that you are going through a lot right now, and although I may not be able to give very good advice, you can always message me to talk about the way you feel. You and I have a lot in common, and I think that just talking back and forth may help. I am here for you.