I've talked some about my past on here, but I don't think you were a member yet Adel. I don't generally talk about my past much of my own accord anymore, but if asked, I will.

I used to be a pretty messed-up chick. Me unmedicated is not a good thing. For one, I don't sleep. Two, at the time I was in a majorly screwed-up situation of my own making; I started a same-sex affair with my boss' boss two weeks after I married my husband. After a year, my H found out and he joined in the fun. All three of us lived together for a while.

My preferred form of SI was banging my head...against a wall, floor, door, door frame (any hard surface really) or with my hands. I starting having "behavioral episodes" at age 15. I think I was desperately trying to get my parents' attention. They threatened to have me hospitalized once, when I slapped my mother. They really didn't know what to do with me.

Back to the affair. At the time, I was dangerous to myself, others, and property. One night I was banging my head on the floor. My girlfriend decided to put me in what was called a "standard therapeutic wrap" used in our state. I fought it really hard, but eventually wore out.

I've managed to come a long way from that past, but I'm still haunted by my past demons...so I'm in therapy and here. I'm also still better medicated rather than not.