I haven't read the article yet, and I don't know for sure if I will. I think I get the gist of it from comments here.

I think now, if I felt I had a choice, I wouldn't reveal anything to a potential partner. My last serious relationship was just beginning as I was dealing with all of this in therapy. There was no way I could not tell him--not details, just the fact of abuse--as the relationship was just becoming sexual. And I was feeling tremendous anxiety and dissociation. I knew if I engaged sexually in that state, I would experience it as perpetuating abuse. I couldn't do that. In some ways, I think knowing frightened and overwhelmed him. I think from his words that he felt cast into the role of an abuser, though I didn't believe that nor wanted him to feel that way.

But I also believe that the knowledge aroused him. And neither of us could deal with that. I still don't know how to deal with that potential. Has anyone faced this?

In many ways, I feel like not disclosing is simply avoiding the issue. But then I feel as if disclosing may creat an issue where one needn't exist. I think timing might be a factor--beginning of a relationship vs well into a relationship.

I've felt a deep relief at the expression of acceptance and empathy from others ( a very, very small group!) about my experience. Although there was much fear in the beginning, I think it's been important that I could feel such comfort from others, that I could get past the lingering shame that could have made me reject such empathy. Perhaps it's because the first person to show such empathy was my T, and I didn't experience it at all as pity, but rather as respectful.