Thanks Lola. I'd never really stopped to think that was an option so it does help that you pointed that out to me. Though I'm sure T would just give me the crisis assessment number (and they would do what needs to be done). Except I don't think I 'd ever call them. You know, you get to that place where you don't even want to be saved? At the time I needed to talk to T about the huge changes between us. She works another job a couple of days a week and soon after the time she forgot to call she was out of the city anyway. I guess, probably, maybe, I'll just hold on forever...no matter what. Probably.

I still don't know where to draw the line though. I think I've been pretty close, but without asking for help, I'm still here. So I don't know when I wait until either.