Quote:
Originally Posted by skysblue
But you're saying that even if that person has some true sensitivity to your pain, you still have a violent impulse?
Your preference, then, is that a feeling response not show up in others? You'd rather a non-response or a clinical response or an uncaring response? I believe the best relationships are those in which people can support each other emotionally.
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I did a very poor job of explaining myself earlier, sorry about that.
I have only experienced this in the context of T, and more specifically, with THIS T, not my prior two. For some reason, his expressions, which I consider very genuine, of compassion do make me feel like I want to punch him in the face. It's not really an impulse, because I don't really want to do it. It's just a fleeting thing.
But I don't WANT to have this kind of hostile emotional reaction to him. So I really want to change this, so I wouldn't say that I am looking for other people in my life to be uncompassionate.
I do not do a lot of disclosing about my history, though. I do end up telling my close friends, about a handful of people. I've told my doctors and other medical professionals, especially within the past year. I can remember the last 3 disclosures to friends, and they were all compassionate responses, and I didn't punch anybody
I also remember being able to accept their compassion, whereas it ain't happening with my T. '
Probably because he's one of the enemy.