My H is one of the men who can understand, and he knew from the beginning, before we even started dating. I had no intent to date him when we first met. Apparently he had other ideas

There is one thing that I can never fault my H for, and that is for being unsupportive, uncompassionate, or even flinching for a moment when I have disclosed or talked about my history with him. He has always been very clear that there is a big difference between something happening to you and something being about you. He has said some annoying things, like you are even more impressive because of this, but I can't fault him for that, either. He has never blamed me or ever pointed out my history in a mean way. He has been sensitive when I have been triggered during s e x and has made it clear by his actions that he would never want to hurt me.

And, really, I don't think he's such a super special guy in this way. I think he's being pretty human. The majority of the friends that I have told over the years have reacted with support, and not done that thing that stopdog described well in her earlier post. So I tend to think that being accepting and understanding to a disclosure of abuse is the norm, and I think that you can find it.