I'd like to be a place where I can get involved in this thread, but I haven't been able to focus on it because of my own life issues at the moment. (Or maybe resistance is coming into play.)

When it comes to sex, I suffer tremendously....My exH didn't know about the abuse, but he knew that I had a lot of limits and boundaries when it came to being touched. I was giving in most ways - but there were just certain things that he simply was not permitted to do or I would freak/dissociate/whatnot. I have a lot of shame about my body, so in the 14 years we were married, he never saw me naked. I'd imagine that's a whole other issue in itself.

About disclosing my history of CSA to others, I have shared this with a small number of people...and unfortunately, my poor choice in people to confide in helped it become a pretty awful experience - with them later throwing my history in my face (and others) in order to deflect taking ownership for their own stuff. Awful. A couple of people I KNOW treat me differently as a result of knowing about my past. And only ONE person that I've shared with (besides T) treats me the same and cares for me regardless of my history.

I think, for me, I am my own worst enemy. I just haven't gained that confidence and strength yet to be able to share with people and not be concerned about being viewed/perceived/treated differently.