What I have to deal with already steals all my energy. And now I got a letter from the rheumathology clinic that basically kicked me out last year. The reason, the doc judged that despite my symptoms and my very abnormal labs, I have to be well because I have a psychiatric diagnosis and then I guess you cannot have anything wrong with your body. Something is killing off my thyroid and is now starting to eat away at my kidneys but I'm too "perky" to be sick (doc's words).

So since I lost all trust in this doc I agree I can just as well be referred to the GP for yearly tests. So when the referral doesn't come I contact the clinic and ask why they haven't referred me. They said they don't "need to", the clinic can just look my records up in the system. Like OOKK... But they need a referral. They say they will send one (they never do).

And NOW I got an appointment with rheumy doc that I should take tests at least a week before the appointment, and the appt is thursday... Say what? A week before? An appointment? WHY?

So once again I try to get in touch with them and this time they have entered the online system so I can actually send a message directly to the doc. I did. It wasn't nice. Their canceling form didn't work though, so I will still have to call and cancel tomorrow mornings because the reception is only open then....

It makes me want to scream. I can't believe after all the doc said about me not being sick and all and completely made all my symptoms into nothing together with my feelings, forgot what he did and thinks I'm supposed to come back because he failed to record this in his computer.

I don't have the energy for this. I feel like I can't breathe...