Have you tried seeking help? You doctor could give you some medications that make you feel better. I found therapy to help with my depression when I didn't have anything to live for. I found meaning in my life by pushing myself through college and finding a job I wanted to do. I also found a reasons to live in friends and loved ones. Even when I feel really down I know I have to keep going for them. It helps me pull myself up. If you feel like you are going to hurt yourself you can go to the ER or call 911. I put myself in a hospital for a week during a tough time in my life and I was safe that way. I hope you find help. These feelings don't have to last forever. I know sometimes it feels like they will and this is life, but things can get better.