Does it help to make a distinction between past and present?

As in, I wouldn't dwell on the "mastermind of my own misery." Great line, should probably be in a best selling novel

But if you focus on being the mastermind of your own future, that seems to me to have some juice.

I do recall a time when I realized that I didn't have a lot of control what happened in the past-- not just talking about childhood, but adulthood. I kind of sleepwalked through many of my choices, was reactive rather than reflective, etc. I failed and I succeeded, sometimes at the same time. But acknowledging my responsibility for my past was really able taking charge of my future. Try not to beat yourself up for what has or hasn't occurred.

But what if you focused on the future, and what you can do right now to get what you want? To me that seems like the most important task.