Hi there JustWantToBeNormal,

I understand how you feel. I visit another forum and there is a thread called the "Forever Alone Club"

You raise alot of good questions and we all have our own ways to work out the answers

I don't even know how to have romantic "relationships". They scares me but I keep trying. I've been mentally f***ed up by my fu***ed up family, and then there is my bi-polar.

Actually I've just come to the point in my life where I feel I can be in a healthy relationship (gulp). All my "relationships" were all based on sex. Either because I didn't think I had anything else to give or else just couldn't give myself to anyone because I didn't know myself.

When I'm with someone I want to be alone, when I'm alone I want to be with someone.

I wouldn't tell someone on the first date if I was Bipolar but wait to see if you like them.

The one thing I do know about mental illness is that you can tell someone that you suffer from depression or bipolar and they're like, okay, no problem. But when it flairs up and you are actually having an episode, or like you said, you're never the same for a few days in a row, they wonder what's wrong with you and then have issues with it. Well, that's been my experience anyway.

I don't want to be alone. What I do want is someone to go out with (2 times a week), have dinner, watch movies, have good talks and good sex and then for the other 5 days I have to myself. But of course, I have to be the one who picks the days. LOL.

I know that wasn't alot of help.

EagleNebula.