I've just got an email from T asking, "What's wrong with a clash of wills?"

My first reaction is, "You just don't get it."

A little later, I'm thinking about this as a serious question, and here is my answer:

1. A clash of wills is a barrier between us, making our relationship poorer and less pleasant.

2. A clash of wills is a distraction, a side issue that becomes the main issue. It is an avoidance mechanism, a resistance mechanism that stops me doing the work I came to do.