Is there another way to stop keeping the secret. My experience is the more secret the abuse is kept the more you are in bondage. You need to find a safe way to get rid of it. I have wrote letters and then burned them in a metal can outside. The act of writing gets it out of you and onto paper-keeping the secret inside is what keeps you bound. I tell people about abuse whether they want to hear it. A journal may help. I write on papers and then rip them to shreds so no one can read them. If you can't find anyone who care to listen to you-write them down and then decide if you want to keep them burn them or find another way to get the story out of you.