Quote:
Originally Posted by button30
 MUE, its so hard- this painful stuff. I really can't do it again, do it to myself.
Last session and first session, she told me that I had no support in my life, no one that loves me and that my ex in fact never loved me and that was way tooooo much for me to hear and I can't cope with that let alone with hearing anymore.
I hope that we can figure out this balance soon enough, I guess everyones gut reaction is to back away from danger. I KNOW, I need to work through this but a little step at a time not all together. DOn't take my two crutches away t |
My T told me something similar, and it left me crushed. When feeling so ugly, repulsive and worthless, I would always think to myself - well, at least my husband finds me attractive and loves me.....to later learn that I was merely an object to meet his pathological needs, the realization was too much to bear. I get it. And it's excruciating.
Therapy is hard work. My T told me that it's important for me to have a good support network in place and have some stability in my life to be able to deal with trauma work. I'd imagine that would be useful for anyone dealing with any tough stuff in therapy. I'm not there yet either.
T talked about the stages of the work we're doing and how there is a light at the end of the tunnel if I could just become unstuck. Yet, he doesn't want me moving forward with it right now because I'm not stable enough yet in my life. The work is hard. But standing still knowing that there's such hard work yet to come is hard too.
I much preferred when I was unaware and numb.