it's good that you haven't done it in a while and i hope you continue on that good path, but if not that doesn't take away from your progress. do you have any idea of what recently has made you want to do it? i also think that you should tell someone so they can help you and give you support. but why do you not want to tell your T?

hang in there. there are many people here who love to help and offer support.

-- Sam