I don't want the reality that I'm a distinct seperate person and that everyone is seperate from everyone else. I hate it!

But maybe there are no rocks in life and that is something I need to accept?

I am feeling really disappointed by my family at the moment, their lack of acknowledgement of me in any meaninful way adds to the feeling of being overwhelmed. I understand things are busy but I really wish that someone sat down and wanted to find out how I'm feeling.

I'm not sure if this means that a) my feelings are too much, b) I need to wait till there is time or c) they think I'm able to cope better than I really can.

my problem is that I think no one will be there to notice and pick me up. Perhaps because I don't think anyone will come I cry more loudly than I would if I trusted someone would care? I think I'm so fearful of falling that when I'm 'told' to walk on my own I scream loudly!