Hi Nightsky,
(Just finished a whole long reply and it got erased!)
I'm so so sorry this happened! I'm still very confused as to how all this even started, and have often tried to search through threads to find out. I joined in May of this past year, so if it started before then I don't know when that would be.
I've dealt with a similar situation. I worked with a therapist for three years, and she came off as so capable in working out relationship issues, in taking care of herself, ETC. Basically I eventually came to the realization that she was putting her needs before her clients in a big way! For example, allowing us to be on her facebook page, envolving her son in therapy groups/ apprenticing that she did, having apprentices that were also clients, disclosing way too much about herself in sessions. I was warned about this long before I accepted it. I didn't want to. As you said, it was so hard for me to believe that this person I thought really cared, basically had constructed a big lie!
When I confronted her about it she got very deffensive. When I tried, ( with the support of another therapist and others who had been hurt by her) to warn people she was currently working with, she got even more out of control saying I was destructive.
What helped me with this was several things. The book A shining Affliction by Annie Rogers. It's about a therapist in training who through her experience with a particular client is forced to face many traumas including childhood abuse, but also most pressing, betrayal by her former therapist. It talks about how she worked through this with the help of another therapist as well as her inner resources. It was such an affirming book for me to read at the time.
Also the website: Therapy Exploitation Link Line I believe it's www.tell.org
Or you can just google the tittle. Anyway, it's a support site for people who have been harmed by their therapists. You write in with your story and it gets sent to members who have volunteered to give guidance and support. I got about four very good responses that validated my feelings, and reminded me that none of this was my fault and that I'd come out the other side stronger.
Also, talking to a friend who was a t, writing about it offten, working with my new t, these things all helped me.
Sorry for such a long post. Just know that you're not alone. If you want to talk more feel free to PM me.
Big hugs!