I know sometimes the idea of living in the moment sounds crazy because that moment is unbearable. I want to be of help to you I hope I can. My son who is 20 just told me yesterday that he has been depressed his whole life. He is working hard right now to get credits to go to university. I think he is overwhelming himself. Do you need to take a small break for a few days? Is that possible? Have you had a complete physical check up with your doctor?
There is a book at the library called "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle. Hope I spelled that right. Please take care and do tell your mom that you are feeling this way. Do not isolate yourself!