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i totally agree with genetic. like you said it's an obsession..uncontrolable thoughts. to help you with that-what's missing in your life that you feel is not there? that investigation (by yourself) may reveal the answer.
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Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.
The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand
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