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Syra · Feb 18, 2013, 10:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Paige008

I know that I am in therapy for a reason and I understand that I am not how normal people are.

But, for the first time ever, my T described me as 'sick'. We were talking about my relationship with my mother and how if one is 'sick', the other stays 'sick'. She asked if I stopped being 'sick', what would happen to my mother and vice versa.

I understand the point she was making about my relationship with my mother, but she still called me 'sick'...a couple times.

Again, I know that there is a lot of **** in my head that's wrong. For some reason though, it really hurt when she said that. Now I can't get it off of my mind.

I guess I didn't realize that other people knew that something was wrong, even if it is my T. Maybe you all will read this and think 'duh! dumbass - what did you think you were in therapy for' and I totally agree with your response. Having someone call you 'sick' though, no one has ever done that, and it wasn't expected.

Does that make any sense? I don't know if I even understand it. Has anyone else felt like this before?

I'm reminded of a saying I heard: When you are the only sane person in a crazy situation, you will look like the crazy one.

When kids grow up with sickness or craziness, they HAVE to adapt to the crazy situation. It's not because they are crazy. I think it's because their survival instincts are working hard, and that's not crazy, or sick, that's very sane.

I imagine you, like the rest of us, have learned some coping mechanisms that worked for us at the time, but don't continue working for us. But that doesn't seem like sickness to me.

I wonder what she meant by that. As I continue to write, it occurs to me that the therapist might have meant many things by it. Maybe she was doing "reality therapy," or maybe she was trying to normalize the situation, or maybe a hundred other possibilities. Do you know what she meant, beyond making a point about your relationship with your mother? And do you know why it triggers you?

It sounds like maybe in saying the relationship with your mother was sick, it implies that you are sick. I don't think I would like that either. I would feel less, at least in the therapist's eyes, and probably mine too because I respect my therapist a lot. I doubt he would want me to feel "less," but I suspect I might. I might also be disturbed about the reflection on my mother, who I have some understanding of why she is as she is. And uncomfortable with pigeon-holing her, and me, and the relationship which is much more complex than "sickness." Is it anything like that? or something different?