Quote:
Originally Posted by Syra
Do you know what she meant, beyond making a point about your relationship with your mother? And do you know why it triggers you?
It sounds like maybe in saying the relationship with your mother was sick, it implies that you are sick. I don't think I would like that either. I would feel less, at least in the therapist's eyes, and probably mine too because I respect my therapist a lot. I doubt he would want me to feel "less," but I suspect I might. I might also be disturbed about the reflection on my mother, who I have some understanding of why she is as she is. And uncomfortable with pigeon-holing her, and me, and the relationship which is much more complex than "sickness." Is it anything like that? or something different?
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I don't know what she meant exactly by 'sick'. She was talking about how our relationship is intertwined. She called it homeostasis and that if one is sick the other has to be sick and if one starts getting better, the other has to pull them down so they both remain sick.
She wasn't saying that our relationship is sick (which would have been 100% true and I know that). She was saying that I was sick. I didn't misunderstand that part because as soon as she said it, I was like, 'ouch, that hurt'.
That is definitely part of it Syra, I do respect my T quite a bit and it did make me feel very small to be called sick. I think it even hurt more because it came from her.
I know that my mom has a mental illness and that she is sick, but I didn't know that I was on that same level of 'sick'. One of the scariest things for me is that I will end up like my mother. It truly terrifies me for my future. My T knows that. I took it as, according to her, I am already my mother, so, yes, that is definitely a trigger or sore subject or whatever you want to call it.