I struggled with not having something I enjoyed for a very long time. I recently became a horse owner and have really enjoyed the experience. The jump for me was made in a manic phase, but in retrospect and through the usual bouts of depression, I have found this to be my saving grace.

I sat down (after the decision of course )and figured that, thankfully, I can afford it financially if I stick to my budgeting plan. The physical labor and having to go outside multiple times a day for the horse's sake whether I feel like it that day or not has exposed me to daily sun and fresh air. It's also strengthened my body without feeling like I'm taking on an exercise plan. For all my responsible work, I am rewarded with those beautifully relaxing and satisfying moments of riding.

However, I do know the underlying feeling of depression regardless of having fun. I wish I had the answer man, but I really don't. But it sounds as though you have a similar healthy hobby in kayaking. Use it for your health, even if it feels like it's not working. Some days it will sink in others it won't, but if you don't try to experience fun, it will never just present itself.

P.S. I have a yellow lab named Sadie. She is the most wonderful animal I have ever had the pleasure of owning in my life. Take time to try to see life through the eyes of your dog. Sometimes that helps me as well.