Thanks optimize

Im ok, my stupid brain is blocking out most of my thoughts. I just feel sad for things that get wasted. My step mom and I never got along. He's going to be cremated and there is no public ceremony. Shes to get the ashes, I dont know what she'll do with them, we dont speak. I dont want to make this about her but it was because of her my dad and I didnt spend much time together after I moved out at 18. Its just so sad that one unhealthy person can do so much damage to others lives. I dont know why she hated me so much. Its not confusing anymore. Shes not well. It just hurts. Thanks for caring, your kind thoughts are always appreciated with me.