I told my mom.. Kinda "broke down" after i said i hate seeing other people happy when im not, However, I did not tell her that I am suicidal. That would be too much. She's going to take me to a therapist and I will only tell him/her that I am suicidal..

I'm really hoping that it's a brain chemistry imbalance as that would be curable, otherwise, I wouldn't know what to with myself..

My day was awful. Worked sucked. I have no energy for this but I'll wait to see what the doctor says before I quit work or possibly school and lead such a life..

Right now I just feel like a huge piece of ****..