If you want to fight for this he needs to be in-patient, and you need to live in separate homes. Both of you should go to Intensive out-patient in different locations. Get intensive couples counseling (3x / wk) and only see him there until he's stable enough until all parties agree that public dinner dating is okay, move on to weekends and slowly build up as you truly feel safe. I'm seriously talking not living together for 3+ years but that's a short time to the rest of your life.

With really severe mental illness you have to have alarge therapeutic support team. I'm talking different individual therapist and psychiatrists for each family member, a couples counselor, family counselor if your bringing kids into the picture and a fast track to a crisis center on speed dial. It'll feel like you live in mental health offices the rest of your life but you want to make this work safely.

I want you to get a lot of therapy so you don't jump from bad relationship to bad relationship. The fact that your so understanding / complacent to this kind of treatment really makes me worry about your mental health. As for him it'll take years and tons of work to come back from that bad of a space. When he's finally stable he then can finally work in therapy, then he has to stay compliant for a long time before you start rebuilding your relationship. Then you both have to continue being compliant and working that hard to keep the relationship. Even then your risking your life.

Are you that dedicated?
Is he?

It doesn't sound like bi-polar. If you do go to a psychiatrist please hand him your post.